To give up or not give up...

It's not often that I write about my feelings here...

I'm frustrated. I'm trying to write another song for the album (to replace one that I'm not thrilled with) and it's not coming. I feel awkward and off somehow...off tune...off time...off energy...I hate feeling this way! I'm fighting negative feelings toward things I have no control over and it's sapping my strength. Lord, save me from drowning!! At this point I feel like giving up! The only thing that keeps me going is remembering why I'm doing this in the first place. God is speaking through this music - I know that. I also know that when I'm on stage and I'm singing and playing my piano, I feel amazing. I love being on stage.

I haven't been on stage much lately. I'm singing the anthem for the Lethbridge Hurricanes this season and I really enjoy that, but I miss being on stage with a group. I feel like a piece of me is missing when I'm not playing music...I've been missing a lot of pieces lately.

Is this just a phase? Will this pass? Can I get over this writer's block and this despondent feeling? Will this album ever be completed? Will I be proud of it when it's done? I have full faith in Brad and his musicians...they are the most talented bunch of people I've ever worked with. I don't worry about their abilities, I worry about mine!

Prayer family...please pray a layer of peace over me... and then pray a covering of JOY on top of that! I've been missing that.

Love to all of you...thank you for listening to me rant...I'm sorry this post is so blech...I promise I'll try and do better next time.

Michele

Summer Almost Over...

I can't believe I'm saying this...summer is almost over!! What happened?!? Where did the time go? A lot happened this summer...let me fill you in...

We've settled into our lovely home in Coalhurst...many thanks again to Brad, Gary, Will, Sandra and Don for helping us with our dream. We couldn't have done this without you! We had our grass installed in July and it's fantastic! I love a green lawn - I'm just not all that crazy about mowing!

Declan turned 9 in July and had the pleasure of celebrating with family this year! Mark, Jobina, Riker and Trinity came down from Manitoba and Nana and Papa brought them to visit. All the boys took in the Air Show which was awesome as always...and all the girls went for lunch and shopped until we were so tired, we went back home to nap! It was a great visit and we really enjoyed our time together.

Declan also got to go to summer camp for the first time thanks to an incredible birthday gift from Nana and Papa! He went to Camp Evergreen and had a great time learning to canoe, shoot a bow and arrow, do crafts, climb rock walls, sing songs, and play games. The really cool part? His camp counsellor was the drummer in the worship band! Declan loves drums so this was pretty awesome for him. He's already asking to go back next year!

Rowan has been SLOWLY letting go of her potty training issues. Today is day two of panties during the day and so far so good! We are really proud of her and Daddy is going to be taking her to Walmart on Friday to buy some pretty princess panties to help encourage her! Before we know it she'll be in preschool...aack!!! Where did my baby go!?!?!

John is finally getting some more hours at work which is a real answer to prayer. He still enjoys his job and it's great that he has such flexibility there - makes it easier for me to do my music.

Music!!! I have not done a whole lot on the album this summer. Sorry everyone...I know this album is already way past due and I feel horribly guilty about it. I'm trying...please be patient with me! I DID have a wonderful time playing a 45 minute set at Party in the Park this summer and I'm scheduled to play at Global Day of Prayer Picnic in the Park next week. I have also joined a band (I don't think we have a name yet). We play country cover songs mostly (I never thought I'd ever write that sentence about myself! Was never a country music fan). I don't know when we will start playing all together, but I'm looking forward to it. I love playing in a band! I like singing harmony and playing piano...and I LOVE IT when I get to sing lead! It doesn't happen often, but it's a lot of fun being backed up by talented musicians!

Some things to pray for...

My friend, Sandra, is in the hospital currently for complications from diverticulitus (I really hope I spelled that correctly). She's had emergency surgery and will have another one soon. Things have not gone smoothly thus far and her family is worried for her. Please pray for healing of her body and peace and comfort for her family. I know this has been very stressful for them. Also pray for the doctors who are helping Sandra...our doctors work very hard and need our prayers too!

I have been really struggling with migraines lately. My doctor has put me on beta blockers to try and help the situation. So far it has made a difference. I still get migraines, but not as many and not as severe. Please pray for continued success with this medication.

Please continue to pray for my album, now titled "Redemption Story" which is also the title track of the CD. There's a lot to do and some reworking of songs still to come. Pray that the changes we make and the instruments we add will help, not hinder the message that we want to come through. Also pray for the musicians that are helping me with the album, that God will use them and their talents to send His message to all who need to hear it! Also please pray for my producer and friend, Brad. He's working really hard and it's been a busy summer. Please pray that he finds enough hours in his day to do all the things that he does. I know he rarely sleeps making sure that all his artists are taken care of. While I appreciate his dedication to our craft, I know how that can wear a person down.

Our kids are going back to school next week everyone! Let's pray for our kids, our teachers, and all the other wonderful people who support our kids at school! Let's pray that God really makes Himself known to our children this school year and that our teachers and school staff feel supported by us, the parents, each and every day!

Thanks for reading everybody!! Sorry it took me so long to write!

School's out...

It would appear that once a month is the average amount of posts you'll see from me these days...it seems like the warmer the weather gets, the less I'm online! We are fast approaching July in the Treleaven house. Declan is out of school for the year and we are FINALLY getting some decent weather around here! Yahoo!

According to our purchase agreement, our lawn should be in, and our house should be completely finished by July 1. Somehow I don't think that will be happening. Our builders are so busy building the houses around us...I haven't seen anyone come to our house in ages!

I can hardly wait for lawn...to be able to go outside and not have to walk on dirt would be soooo nice. But I know that once the lawn is in, I'll be saying that I can hardly wait for fence! It's always something...

Declan is looking forward to joining the BMX club starting Monday (weather permitting). There is a fantastic BMX track just down the street from our house and the club provides 20 Monday night coaching sessions, 20 Friday night races, and 1 Saturday afternoon race for $100.00. I'm thinking that's not so bad and it gives him something to do this summer. He's already spending the majority of his time there, so he might as well join the club!

Honest to goodness...that's all that's new since the last time I posted. John, Rowan and I are all doing the same as always. If anything new comes up...I'll be sure to post!

Happy Summer Everyone!

Long time no talk...

Yikes it's been a while since I've written. Let me try and update you a little...

Since my last post we have settled very nicely into our new home. We love it and can hardly wait until the landscaping is done so we can really enjoy this new space.

I have done a few gigs with Ira since we moved. One that really stands out for me was at the University of Lethbridge. I did two solos which was a first for me. The first solo, "Land of the Blind" went better than it has ever gone before! I felt every word and was exhausted at the end of it but so proud of myself for doing so well. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but that felt REALLY awesome! After the gig was over, two people came up to me and wanted to shake my hand...when I looked at their faces I nearly fell over! It was Craig and Carla Ginn! You probably won't know who I'm talking about so I'll tell you what this meant to me. Craig Ginn was a Christian singer who played at my school in Winnipeg in 1989. I loved his lyrics and his talent with a guitar and spent some time talking with him after the show. I found out he was from a town called Medicine Hat. The next year, we moved to Medicine Hat and who do you think the first person was that I met at school? The girl who babysat Craig Ginn's kids and went to his church....aack!!!! She took me to his next concert where we started talking again. Since then I have had the enormous priviledge of not only being friends with this deep thinker and his family, I have had the huge pleasure of playing on stage with him and also playing at camp with him. So anyway, seeing him at this gig was very special indeed as it had been ages since I'd seen him. He gave me some really great feedback on my performance and I was blessed beyond words to hear such positive comments coming from someone I admire so much. What a fantastic night!

John and the kids are doing great! Declan has made many friends in our area and is out riding his bike on the local bmx track every day. We just found out there's a little girl Rowan's age right across the back alley from us and my co-worker who also has two little girls is moving just down the street. More and more confirmation that we're right where we need to be.

That's all I have time for right now...stay tuned for more...hopefully sooner rather than later!!!

Pictures of the new house part 2

So now I'll show you the bedrooms, bathroom and main floor closet. First up is the master bedroom. The first picture is the main area, the second picture is the his and hers closets (they face eachother) and the pocket door leading to the bathroom.

Next up is Rowan's room which is right beside ours.

After Rowan's room is the linen closet which is used to store pretty much everything for upstairs.

After that comes Declan's room. He is loving his new camo bedding!

Then there's the bathroom. Small, but pretty all the same.

Basement pics will be up next time!

Pictures of the new house...

Well, you asked for them (and by "you" I mean Jobina!), so here they are! Pics of the new house. Due to system limitations, you will be getting pictures in a few different posts...enjoy! The first picture is our living room.

This next picture is of our dining area. To the right is a door leading to a small deck where our bbq will sit once I actually get around to building it. To the left is our kitchen which you will see in the next picture. Down the hall are the bathroom and the bedrooms which will come in another post. I don't know if you can see this but my cat is sitting all freaked out in the hallway in this picture.

Our fabulous kitchen....sigh....John is very happy. I can't believe I actually have a kitchen that has so much room, I don't have enough stuff to fill the cupboards!

The front of our house. The posts are going to be painted dark brown yet. You can see that deck off the dining area on the right hand side of the house. The white van in the picture is what the builders are using as a tool shed at the moment. We're hoping that moves soon. Our grass will be here by summer time and I have to say that I'm really looking forward to seeing some landscaping!

More to come soon!

We've moved!!!

Well dear family and friends, we have finally moved into our new home. I have found that I have way more muscles than I thought I did - and right now every last one of them is asking me, "why did you abuse me like that?!". HUGE thanks go out to Brad, Gary, and Will for helping us haul furniture and more boxes than anyone should ever own. We could not have moved without you! I promise a house warming complete with bbq'd steak and beer will be forthcoming. Special thanks go to my parents who took our kids to their home so that we could move without trampling our little ones in the process!

Most of the rooms have been organized and unpacked with the exception of our bedroom and the unfinished part of the basement. I still need to build one dresser, a bbq, and a futon. I'm hoping to have everything unpacked and organized this weekend. I think I can do it. I haven't found the batteries for my camera or I would post some pictures. I may just have to bite the bullet, go to the store and buy more batteries. I'd love to give all of you a taste of what my home looks like. I warn you though, pictures could never do this house justice. It's everything we could have wanted and more. John and I are very very happy with our decision to buy this house.

So if you're down this way, come on over! We'd love to see you! I promise to post pictures soon.

Performing...

How I love performing!!! It is one of those rare pleasures in life that moves the very core of my being. Yesterday I had the pleasure of performing again with Ira Provost for the Alberta Teachers Asssociation in Calgary. We took a large van, piled the whole band inside and set off yesterday afternoon. When we got there, we had a hotel room waiting for us to chill out and relax for a little while, watch movies, eat some snacks and get changed for the show.

We went to the hall to do soundcheck. When I walked in the room, I noticed that my piano stand had already been set up (I am usually the one to do this). When I looked a little closer I noticed that there was something attached to my stand that wasn't there before. Brad Lang, my fabulous producer had surprised me with a mic boom that attaches to my piano stand. This takes away the need for a separate mic stand that gets in the way and is hard to manipulate. It was such a wonderful surprise. I gave Brad a hug and must have thanked him half a dozen times but it still doesn't seem like enough. He's always there, noticing what we need and making sure those things are there when we need them. We couldn't have asked for anything more last night. We were fed, there was a ton of water around to help with dry throats on stage, transportation and production was all provided by a fantastic team of people. Brad is the one who makes that happen and puts everything together. So Brad, thank you soooo much! Once again, you proved what we already know, you are one fantastic producer/manager/friend and we could not do what we do if you weren't there.

With that said, let me tell you a bit of what happened the rest of the night. There was a green room outside of the gig for us to gather prior to the show. We were well fed with prime rib, the most awesome spinach salad I have ever had and cheesecake. Then it was time to do our job.

We got on stage and everything was fantastic. We sang, we taught our audience about the issues facing Native people, we truly enjoyed ourselves. Everyone got off the stage afterward, looked at eachother and said, "That was AWESOME"! I got to do a solo of "Land of the Blind" which is a song I have loved since the first time I heard it. Ira did a lot of talking about the origin of each of his songs which was really interesting. He referenced a few other bands that inspired him and it was very interesting to hear where his inspiration came from.

After the set was over, we all changed back into our street clothes and prepared to leave for home. While we were waiting to go, I noticed a baby grand piano in the hall of the hotel. I sat down and started to play. The next thing I know, a guy is standing behind me listening....then another guy showed up. Pretty soon I had a little audience of my own. I wasn't playing anything specific, just sort of playing whatever notes came into my head. When I noticed them, I stopped playing to talk to them. The one guy said he would stand there as long as I would play, so I played some more. We talked about music, it's effect on people, the emotions behind songs that we play and how they are created. It was a fantastic time for me to connect with people while performing in a very small setting. Both gentlemen had been at our gig so we were also able to discuss Ira's album and his message.

We got home at around 1:30am, tired but happy that the night was a success. I woke up this morning full of energy and ready for another day. I felt like I had been on vacation for a week - that's what playing music does for me! If I could do this full time and make a living at it, there would be no stopping me!

I know I sound like a broken record, but I just have to tell you how grateful I am to God for providing me the opportunity to live out my dream of performing on stage, creating new music, and teaching people not only about God and His love for us, but also teaching about God's children and the issues that they face here on earth. God pointed me to Brad (who's link is on the top right hand corner of my blog for those who are interested) and life is now very busy, very different, but so very wonderful!

Next gig is scheduled for Saturday, March 21 at Lethbridge City Hall at 7pm. Hope to see you there!

P.S. You can see more about Ira, his message and his songs on his website, www.iraprovost.ca

A very loooong weekend...

I am on the last day of a 6 day weekend. Why so long? The nasty germ that has been ravaging everyone I know finally found me. Tuesday I left work feeling kinda yucky. Your usual fever, headache, cough thing. Wednesday morning I woke up and knew that I was going to be staying in bed for a while. I'm not one to get really sick often, but these last few months I just can't seem to shake these beastly little germs. I got a cold just before my surgery, then got the flu right after surgery and now this? When will it ever end?!?! I thought that all the cold weather was supposed to kill all these little viruses - I think instead of dying, they simply found shelter in my house! My lovely husband has patiently nursed me back to health and I'm feeling much better now. Hooray for antibiotics and TLC (not the TV show, I really do mean "tender loving care")!

I thought I would take this opportunity to let you know the outcome of the prayer requests I posted a while back. Here it goes...

Ollie is doing fantastic! Her surgery went great and doctors say she is now in the clear. No more cancer and no chemo needed! God provided for her in amazing ways while she was away. Her roommate in the hospital was a Christian lady who prayed for Ollie when things got really bad. Ollie said that she could actually feel God's peace surrounding her in that moment. What a great testimony that God not only cares for us but puts perfect strangers in our path to love us in His name!

Declan's school counselor has stepped in and taken an active role in helping Declan through some of his behaviour issues. It is obvious that Declan feels this support and embraces it. He received some recognition at school recently for making good choices and that was wonderful to see. He also has started challenging himself more in reading. He has picked a few chapter books now from the library (something he never did before) and is actually enjoying reading. I'm so proud of his progress!

I had a meeting with Brad and discovered I'm still three songs away from an album. After that meeting I looked in my song writing journal to discover I had more than 3 songs that I still hadn't recorded! Thus, the writing is pretty much over. There is MAJOR editing to be done as I'm still not happy with the songs as they stand. I don't know what I'm going to change yet, but I'm working on it. This album seems to have a decidedly mellow feel which is in tune with how I like to play. If I wasn't playing, just standing and performing, I'd prefer faster songs. However, that's not where my writing talents lie. Once I have the songs where I want them, we can start bringing in other instruments. I'm excited to start that part of the process, but am willing to wait and make sure that the songs are perfect prior to more instruments being added.

The house has been painted, doors and trim are done and cabinets are being installed. It's hard to believe that moving time is almost upon us! We haven't packed a thing! Aaack!!! Declan is starting to get excited about moving. He's looking forward to his new room and our new neighborhood. I'm praying for good friends for him that live close by.

Our current home is in a constant state of disaster as I try to figure out what goes and what stays. Honestly, I'd love to throw everything out and start over, but I don't have anywhere close to the funds needed to make that happen, so I'll salvage what I can and pitch the rest. It's amazing how many things I keep that are broken or unusable. It sometimes feels like I don't throw anything away unless I'm moving. I don't like packing. I love unpacking. I love starting over in a new place. I'm doing my best to keep the end result in mind while I mindlessly go through all my stuff and decide what to pack.

Now where did I put that packing tape...?

Concerts and stuff...

This weekend was a big deal for me. I had the honor of playing with Ira Provost at a fundraiser for the Friendship Society here in Lethbridge on Saturday night. What a rush!! To play with 7 incredibly talented musicians in front of hundreds of people...to sing songs that teach lessons about Canada's history, more specifically about the history of the Blackfoot Nation, it was a mind blowing and totally humbling experience.

When I'm singing songs about Native culture, I start to really feel my "whiteness". I start to feel apologetic on behalf of the white people who treated them so badly and who handled the situation so poorly. I have learned a ton about how their children were taken away to residential schools and told that the purpose of this was to take the Indian out of the Child. It saddens me to think that a nation of people were ripped from their homes and everything they held dear and made to learn a completely different way of life because theirs was considered unacceptable. I start to think of my children and how, as a parent, I would feel in that situation. These are a proud people, and often misunderstood. I have met so many who have touched my soul, people who have been willing to teach me and share their culture, their history and their lives with me. Who knew that music could teach not only the listener, but the musician as well?!
We are doing another concert in March in Calgary and one at the University of Lethbridge in May. Stay tuned for more info as we get closer to those dates!

In the meantime, I have been horribly out of touch on my own music and need to get back into the studio and start moving things along. I'm hoping to get back there this week as another song has been written and needs to be recorded. I think I'm getting pretty close to having all the songs written. Soon it will be time to edit - that's where things get fun...and hard! I already have some ideas for editing some of the songs and I'm hoping that collaborating with my musical friends will add to that fun and give me ideas that I wouldn't have necessarily thought of on my own. Stay tuned!

Sorry about the delay...

Wow! It's been a while since I've written anything! Things have been a little busy for me as of late and I haven't had a lot of time to write. The house is coming along nicely with the builders starting to drywall this weekend. I'm involved in a concert on January 31st and as such, music practice eats up a lot of my time. I'm still singing O Canada at some of the hockey games and we're short staffed at work which means we all have to work twice as hard right now. Busy busy busy!!!

I don't really have anything exciting to say today, so I'm going to list some prayer requests that I'm working on. If you are someone who prays, you can work on them too.

My very dear friend Ollie is going for her second surgery to try and remove the rest of the cancer that sits in her abdomen. There are circumstances with Ollie that make this surgery very dangerous. She will also be away from her children and husband for a minimum of two weeks as the surgery that she needs can't be done in our home town. Please pray that God would be present with her in a way that she can feel. Pray that the surgery is successful and has no complications. Pray that she recovers quickly.

For my son, Declan. I wish I knew what was going on in that boy's head. Please pray for Declan's attitude toward work in general. Iif it doesn't come easy, Declan doesn't want to do it and I can't think of a different way of teaching him. I try to show him through example how to work hard but I'm not getting through. This causes his schoolwork to suffer and his home time to be stressed. Any ideas of how to get my child to enjoy work and feel a sense of accomplishment when he does something would be appreciated.

For my album, aack!!! I'm so close to having all songs written so that I can start to edit. I still have 2, maybe 3 more songs to write. I'm getting impatient and feeling like this project will never be completed. Please pray for patience for those involved and for inspiration for me. Please pray for clear direction because I really want to make sure that everything I do with this album is in line with what God wants.

Anyway, that's the three biggest ones today. I'll be sure to post the outcome of all of these requests on my blog when they happen, so stay tuned!!